South Park's On Facebook
by RubyMothertucker
Summary: Hell is unleashed on Facebook thanks to the quiet mountain town of South Park. Starts off with just main characters but eventually will become a South Park X Reader. Sorry, I'm bad at summaries...
1. Chp 1 He didn't block her

**Kenny McCormick** changed his profile picture

**Kyle Brovfloski**: dude...wtf

**Stan Marsh**: how did you even get her to do that with you!?

**Eric Cartman**: lol who knew **Heidi Turner** was a whore  
><em><strong>Wendy Testaburger<strong>__,__** Bebe Stevens**__, and 20 others like this comment_

**Bebe Stevens**: and **Heidi Turner** told me she was a virgin...  
><em><strong>Wendy Testaburger<strong>__ and __**Red Tucker**__ like this comment_

**Wendy Testaburger**: You don't have to stoop that low to become noticed **Heidi Turner**

**Heidi Turner**: WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM MCCORMICK? I KNOW YOU PHOTOSHOPPED THAT PICTURE! THATS NOT EVEN ME!

**Kenny McCormick** thought he had blocked **Heidi Turner** so she couldn't see that picture

**Kyle Brovfloski** thinks that** Kenny McCormick** is an idiot  
><em><strong>Heidi Turner<strong>__, __**Stan Marsh**__, and 54 others like this comment_

**XXX**

**Shelly Marsh**: I can't believe the turd **Lorde** kept rubbing her clit on stage. And I thought she had morals...  
><em><strong>Stan Marsh<strong>__ and __**Sharon Marsh**__ like this comment_

**Randy Marsh**: Shelly! I'm sure **Lorde** try's very hard to make everybody happy, you should feel ashamed turning your back on her.

**Sharon Marsh**: Well I think** Shelly Marsh** is right, **Lorde** was making a complete mockery of herself on stage the other night.  
><em><strong>Stan Marsh<strong>__ and__** Shelly Marsh**__ like this comment_

**Stan Marsh**: I can nvr look u the same again **Randy Marsh**.

**XXX**

**Wendy Testaburger** has changed her relationship status to _single_

**Bebe Stevens**: Wow, suprise suprise.  
><em><strong>Kyle Brovfloski, Craig Tucker<strong>__, and 38 others like this comment_

**Kyle Brovfloski**: **Bebe Stevens**, watch her and **Stan Marsh** or **Token Black** start daiting tomorrow.  
><em><strong>Bebe Stevens<strong>__,__** Butters Stotch**__, __**Eric Cartman**__, and 186 others like this comment_

**Token Black**: t(- -)t **Kyle Brovfloski**.  
>~<em><strong>Stan Marsh and Eric Cartman <strong>__like this comment_

Bebe Stevens: Wait, why did **Eric Cartman** like that?

Eric Cartman: Bc, I hte stpid jews & kyel  
><em><strong> ~Adolf Hitler <strong>__likes this comment___

**Kyle Brovfloski**: go fuck yourself **Eric Cartman** since not even your slut of a mom will do it for you.  
><em><strong>~Bebe Stevens, Clyde Donavin<strong>__, and 475 others like this comment_

**Wendy Testaburger**: little harsh? **Kyle Brovfloski**

**Kyle Brovfloski**: Sorry, not sorry. Just not in the mood for fatass's shit today.

XXX

**Stan Marsh**: are u ok **Kyle Brovfloski**? Y weren't u at school today?

**Kyle Brovfloski**: Yah I'm fine. I had to go to **Ike Brovfloski 's** Christmas play.

**Eric Cartaman**: lol **Kyle Brovfloski** is a FAG.

**Kyle Brovfloski**: up yours fatass, **Eric Cartman**

**Eric Cartman**: DNT CALL ME FAT U JEW

**Kenny McCormick**: just make out already **Kyle Brovfloski **& **Eric Cartman**  
><em><strong> ~Stan Marsh <strong>__likes this comment_

**Eric Cartman**: STFU U DERTY PECE OF POOR SHIT** Kenny McCormick**  
>~<em><strong>Kyle Brovfloski<strong>__ likes this comment_

**Kyle Brovfloski**: How did you even pass English? **Eric Cartman**

**Eric Cartman**: the teacher had a bonner four me **Kyle Brovfloski**

**Kyle Brovfloski**: as if fatass **Eric Cartman**

**Eric Cartman**: whtver. Ur a lying ginger anyway **Kyle Brovfloski**.

**XXX**

**Me**: Well, that's all for today but viewer requests are up so if you have an idea, just comment below!


	2. Chp 2 That Mothertucker

**Kenny McCormick** thinks the new girl is totally hot!  
><em><strong>~Clyde Donovan <strong>__likes this comment_

**Wendy Testaburger**: You only say that bc she has boobs Kenny McCormick  
><em><strong>~Bebe Stevens<strong>__ and__** Red Tucker**__ like this comment_

**Bebe Stevens**: Does she even have a Facebook?

**Kenny McCormick**: I don't think so... But she's way to hot not to have one.

**Stan Marsh**: Lay off **Kenny McCormick**  
><em><strong>~Wendy Testaburger<strong>__ likes this comment_

**Clyde Donovan**: You better back off of her**Kenny McCormick** looks like **Stan Marsh** has a thing for her ...

**Red Tucker**: Damn it! I was totally shipping **Stan Marsh** and **Kyle Brovfloski **:(

**Bebe Stevens**: you've been reading yaoi **Red Tucker** haven't you?

**Stan Marsh**: what the fuck...Imma pretend I didn't read that...but she's my cousin **Kenny McCormick** & **Clyde Donovan**

**Kyle Brovfloski**: Wtf is yaoi?

**Clyde Donovan**: you don't want to know **Kyle Brovfloski**

**Kenny McCormick**: ohh... that explains why she has the same last name as you. **Stan Marsh**

**Stan Marsh**: dude, your a fucking idiot.  
><em><em>_**~Eric Cartman **__likes this comment_

**XXX**

**Kenny McCormick**: **Stan Mars**h please get your cousin to make a Facebook!

**Stan Marsh**: she said she doesn't want one **Kenny McCormick**

**Kenny McCormick**: What? Why!

**Stan Marsh**: bc of pervs like you **Kenny McCormick**

**Eric Cartman**: **Kenny McCormick** the only reason your white trash self wants Stan's bitchy cousin to make a Facebook is because you want to send her dick pics.  
><em><strong>~Stan Marsh<strong>__ likes this comment_

**Kenny McCormick**: DONOT! **Eric Cartman **

**Eric Cartman**: it's a proven fact that all poor white ghetto people send dick pics to their friends cousins.

**Kenny McCormick**: That's a lie. **Wendy Testaburger** already established the reason I want her to a have a Facebook is because of her boobs, not my dick.

**Stan Marsh**: brb. Gonna go throw up.  
><em><em>_**~Wendy Testaburger**__ likes this comment_

**XXX**

_**(Y/F/N) Marsh**__ has joined Facebook_

_**(Y/F/N) Marsh**__ is now friends with __**Stan Marsh**__, __**Kenny McCormick, Bebe Stevens**__ and 36 others_

**Kenny McCormick**: I thought you didn't want a Facebook?

**(Y/F/N) Marsh**: I didn't but Cartman said it would piss of **Stan Marsh** if I got one and friended you for some reason.

**Stan Marsh**: fuck you **Eric Cartman**

**Eric Cartman**: I'd be less worried about fucking me and more worried about **Kenny McCormick** fucking your cousin **Stan Marsh  
>~<strong>**_Kenny McCormick_**_likes this comment_

**(Y/F/N) Marsh: **tf...

**Kyle Brovfolski**: Wow, you're first 20 min on Facebook and you already have 39 friends!  
><em><strong>~Bebe Stevns<strong>__ and __**Stan Marsh**__ like this comment _

**(Y/F/N) Marsh: **Well, I would have 40 **Kyle Brovfloski **, but fucking **Craig Tucker** won't friend me!  
><em><em>_**~Craig Tucker**__ likes this comment_

**(Y/F/N) Marsh**: FUCK YOU CRAIG t(- -)t  
><em><em>_**~Craig Tucker**__ likes this comment_

**(Y/F/N) Marsh:** I SWEAR TO **God** TUCKER I WILL FUCKING MUDER YOU  
><em><strong>~Craig Tucker<strong>__ and __**God**__ like this comment_

**Clyde Donovan:** Don't worry**(Y/F/N) Marsh**, you don't want Tucker as your friend anyways  
><em><em>_**~(Y/F/N) Marsh**__ likes this comment_

_**Craig Tucker**__ has un-friended __**Clyde Donovan**_

**Clyde Donovan**: WTH **Craig Tucker**?!  
><em><strong>~Craig Tucker<strong>__ likes this comment_

**Craig Tucker**: You have to earn my friend request **(Y/F/N) Marsh**

**Craig Tucker:** oh yeah and fuck you **Clyde Donovan**

**XXX**

**(Y/F/N) Marsh**: so what do I have to do to earn your friend request **Craig Tucker**?

**Craig Tucker**: get me out of detention

**(Y/F/N) Marsh**: what?

**Craig Tucke**r: come break me out of detention

**(Y/F/N) Marsh**: how the hell am I supposed to do that?

**Craig Tucker:** theres a hole by the play ground under the slide, crawl in that then you will be inside the school. Get rid of all the ginger hallway monitors in the hall then find Mr. Mackeys key and get me out of detention.

**(Y/F/N) Marsh**: are you fucking serious **Craig Tucker**

**Craig Tucker**: Do you want my friend request or not?

**(Y/F/N) Marsh**: otw **Craig Tucker**.

**XXX**

_**Craig Tucker**__ has added 3 new pictures to his photo album_

_**Craig Tucker **__has tagged__** (Y/F/N) Marsh**__ in this album_

**Craig Tucker**: look how dirty and ugly**(Y/F/N) Marsh** looks in these photos  
><em><strong>~Clyde Donovan <strong>__and __**Eric Cartman**__ like this comment_

**Clyde Donovan**: lol look at her hair. It looks like a lions mane

**(Y/F/N) Marsh**: WHATS YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM CRAIG? YOU DIDNT EVEN FRIEND ME AND NOW YOUR POSTING UGLY ASS PHOTOS OF ME

**Craig Tucker**: yes **(Y/F/N) Marsh**

**Kenny McCormick**: well I think you look hot

**Stan Marsh**: dude I swear to God **Kenny McCormick**

_**Craig Tucker**__ has added 1 new picture to his photo album_

_**Craig Tucker**__ has tagged__** Clyde Donovan**__ in this album_

**Craig Tucker**: I almost forgot to post this picture of **Clyde Donovan** with a dildo in his mouth  
><em><strong>~Tweek Tweak, Token Black<strong>__, and 5 others like this comment_

**Eric Cartman**: lol look at this faggot

**Clyde Donovan**: WHEN THE FUCK WAS THIS?

**Tweek Tweak**: i - GAH - remembeerrrr this!

**Token Black**: rember that time when we got into my parents whine cellar? **Clyde Donovan**.

**Clyde Donovan**: say no more **Token Black**

**XXX**

_**(Y/F/N) Marsh**__ has added 5 new pictures to her photo album  
><em>  
><em><strong>(YF/N) Marsh**__ has tagged __**Clyde Donovan**__ in this album _

**(Y/F/N) Marsh:** Loved hanging out with my best friend 3 **Clyde Donovan**  
>~<strong>Clyde Donovan, Butters Stotch<strong>, and 54 others like this comment

**Bebe Stevens**: so what? Are y'all like daiting now?

**Clyde Donovan:** What? No. **Bebe Stevens**. We just had to make **Craig Tucker **angry

**Kenny McCormick**: OH MY GOSH. Thanks **God** y'all are not daiting! There's still a chance for me to get laid!

**Stan Marsh**: STOP TALKING ABOUT FUCKING MY COUSIN **Kenny McCormick **

**(Y/F/N) Marsh**: good fucking **God**. Your a sick bastard **Kenny McCormick**.

**Tweak Tweek**: WELL THANKS - GAH - A LOT **(Y/F/N) Marsh**, NOW FUCKING CCCRAIG WONT STOP FFFUCKINNGG RANTINGG ABOUTT YOUU & **Clyde Donovan **hanging out together

**(Y/F/N) Marsh**: whatever **Tweak Tweek**, it's his fault for not friending me and posting shitty pictures of me

**Clyde Donovan**: & un-friending me and posting pictures of drunk me.

**Kyle Brovfloski**: Is it really that big of a deal? **(Y/F/N) Marsh**  
><em><strong>~Stan Marsh<strong>__ and __**Tweak Tweek**__ like this comment_

**(Y/F/N) Marsh**: Yes. **Kyle Brovfloski**

**XXX**

_**Craig Tucker**__ is inviting all his Facebook friends to his party except __**Butters Stotch, (Y/F/N) Marsh, Pip Pirrup**__, and __**Eric Cartman**_

**(Y/F/N) Marsh**: WTF is your problem? I'm not even your Facebook friend. **Craig Tucker **

**Eric Cartman**: Yah I'm with that **(Y/F/N) Marsh** whore! Why the fuck aren't we invited?

**Craig Tucker**: Bc I hate you all t(- -)t **Eric Cartman**

**Kenny McCormick**: HEY! FUCK OF MY GIRL TUCKER!

**(Y/F/N) Marsh**: your girl? **Kenny McCormick**

**Kenny McCormick**: you read it right.

**(Y/F/N) Marsh**: WHATEVER. I DONT WANT TO GO TO YOUR FAGGY PARTY ANYWAYS **Craig Tucker**!  
><em><strong>~Craig Tucker<strong>__ likes this comment_

**(Y/F/N) Marsh**: wait...how come Donovan was invited but not me?

**Clyde Donovan**: it's the bro code **(Y/F/N) Marsh**

**(Y/F/N) Marsh:** that's sounds like the name of a gay night club  
><em><strong>~Kenny McCormick<strong>__ and __**Eric Cartman **__like this_

**Kenny McCormick**: Well if your feeling lonely you know where to find me ;)

**Stan Marsh**: THATS IT **Kenny McCormick**

**Kenny McCormick**: what? **Stan Marsh**

**Kenny McCormick**: **Stan Marsh**?

**Kenny McCormick**: oh shit

**(Y/F/N) Mars**h: What ? **Kenny McCormick**

**Kenny McCormick**: HES TRYING TO GET IN THREW THE WINDOW!

**(Y/F/N) Marsh**: He's what? **Kenny McCormick**

**Kenny McCormick**: TELL MY FAMILY I LOVED THEM

**(Y/F/N) Marsh**: Are you okay? **Kenny McCormick**

**Kenny McCormick**: YOUR COUSIN IS GOING TO KILL ME

**(Y/F/N)**: Are you being for real! are you okay? I'll come over if you need me.

**Kenny McCormick**: GOTCHA I knew you love me

**(Y/F/N) Marsh**: uggg...fucking Kenny. I swear sometimes he makes me want to punch him so hard.  
><em><strong>~Stan Marsh, Eric Cartman<strong>__, and 47 others like this comment_

**XXX**

**Me**: I hope you liked the story. It seems short but it took me so fucking long to write! Anyways, viewer requests are open if your interested! Until next time, STAY AWESOME BROS (jk I'm not **Pewdiepie**)

**Pewdiepie:** *Brofist*


	3. Chp 3 Christmas On Facebook (Pt1)

**(A/N): ** On quotev I share this story with my co-writer , Raven, every time she has a written chapter in this story I will make sure to give credit to her! She's amazing and if you have a Quotev then you should def follow her! I'll post the link to her account below! Oh yea and there will be three parts to the Christmas On Facebook story, it was written obvi before christmas so please just deal with me. Oh yea and heres some story time with Ruby, so this jackass comes on my reviews and basically tells me that my story is shit quality and breaks a whole bunch of rules. Ok, I've seen a shit ton of FaceBook fan fiction on this site that hasn't been deleted, so I pm them back that I actually put a lot of work into this story and it should be considered the equal of any other (shitty fanfic) story out there, and obvi it hasn't been deleted so people must like it enough to not be reporting, and this bitch keeps PMing me back till I tell them that they can take they shouldn't waste there wifi on someone who doesn't give two shits about what they say or a fuck about their rules! I know, I know, rules are rules but y'know what? If you never stick up for yourself then you'll never be able to realize your own potential in writing/athletics/etc. If everyone let rules define and decide what they do, then we wouldn't have the freedoms and technologies we do today! Some rules need to be there but I think everyone should brake the ridiculous ones! Screw 'em! Thanks so much for the love and support, I love you guys XX!

Follow Raven On Quotev here;

AngelRaven

**XXX**

_**Eric Cartman**__ created Stpid Jew Christmas Camp: Send the World Problems to Hell_

_**~Adolf Hitler**__ likes this_

**Kyle Brovfloski: **WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU MAKE THIS?!

**Eric Cartman: **It's for a good cause Kyle, don't ruin this for everyone else!

**Kyle Brovfloski: **WTF FATASS?! WHY DID YOU SEND ME AN INVITE?!

**Eric Cartman:** DN'T CALL MEH FAT YOU FUCJING JEW!

**Kyle Brovfloski: **Dude what the fuck is wrong with you?!

**Eric Cartman: **Kyel your a jew. So nobody else has to deal with you're shit we send you and you're kind away, far away for Christmas. Probs forever.

_**~Adolf Hitler**__ likes this comment_

**Kyle Brovfloski: **Why the fuck would I or any other person ever go to this?

**Eric Cartman: **Kyel, this is for you're own good. Your leaving tonite. I've got the tickets for the quickest ride to Hell, it's only one way ticket tho.

**Kyle Brovfloski: **Dude, neither your fatass or your bad grammar is going to get me to go on that camp.

_**~(Y/F/N) Marsh**__, __**Wendy Testaburger**__, and 27 others like this comment_

**XXX**

**(Y/F/N) Marsh** is now friends with** Craig Tucker**

_**~Craig Tucker**__ likes this_

**(Y/F/N) Marsh: **Holy crap that took forever.

**Clyde Donovan: **Calm down, it's not worth getting excited over. Believe me.

**Craig Tucker** unfriended **Clyde Donovan**

_**~(Y/F/N) Marsh**__,__** Kenny McCormick**__,__** Stan Marsh**__, and 13 others like this_

**Clyde Donovan: **WTAF CRAIG?!

**Craig Tucker: **Don't worry about it, it's not worth getting excited over. Believe me.

_**~(Y/F/N) Marsh**__, __**Stan Marsh**__,__** Kyle Brovfloski**__,__and 24 others like this comment_

**Clyde Donovan: **Fuck you.

**Craig Tucker:** I'd rather you didn't.

**XXX**

**(Y/F/N) Marsh** is at **Community Playground** with **Craig Tucker**

**Bebe Stevens: **Oh my** God**, I SO SHIP THIS!

_**~God**__ and __**Craig Tucker**__ like this comment._

**Wendy Testaburger: **No! **Kyle Brovfloski** and **(Y/F/N) Marsh **would look way cuter

_**~Kyle Brovfloski**__ and__** Ike Brovfloski**__ like this comment_

**Heidi Turner:** EW! NO! **Kenny McCormick **and **(Y/F/N) Marsh **would be so much better together, even if **Kenny McCormick **is a perverted asshole.

_**~Kenny McCormick **__likes this comment_

**Kenny McCormick: **Hell yes! I'm in!

_**~Heidi Turner **__likes this comment_

**Stan Marsh: Kenny McCormick**, stay the hell away from my cousin!

_**~Craig Tucker**__, __**Kyle Brovfloski**__, __**Bebe Stevens and Wendy Testaburger **__like this comment_

**Wendy Testaburger: **Yeah! Back off **Kenny McCormick! (Y/F/N) Marsh's** heart belongs to **Kyle Brovfloski!**

_**~Kyle Brovfloski **__likes this comment_

**Bebe Stevens: **As if! It belongs to** Craig Tucker!** I mean come on, anyone can see that!

_**~Craig Tucker**__ likes this comment_

**(Y/F/N) Marsh: **Wtf is happening...?

**Wendy Testaburger: (Y/F/N) Marsh **stay out of this! This is none of your business! We're discussing your future love life!

_**~Heidi Turner**__, __**Bebe Stevens**__, __**Kyle Brovfloski**__,__** Craig Tucker **__and __**Kenny McCormick **__like this comment_

**(Y/F/N) Marsh: **Umm... Okay...?

**Clyde Donovan:** Guys, what the hell? Why didn't you invite me?!

**Craig Tucker: **Wasn't worth it?

**Clyde Donovan: **You're flipping me off right now, aren't you?

**Craig Tucker: **Yep.

**_(Y/F/N) Marsh_**_,__** Kenny McCormick**__,__** Stan Marsh**__, and 39 others like this comment_

**XXX**

**Me**: Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter written entirely by my amazing new co-author! Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!


	4. Chp 4 Christmas On FaceBook (pt 2)

**Wendy Testaburger**: all I'm saying is **(Y/N) Marsh** and**Kyle Brovfloski** would have the cutest babies.

**Bebe Stevens**: AS IF.**(Y/N) Marsh** and **Craig Tucker**'s baby's would be WAY cuter!

**Heidi Turner**: NO NO NO **(Y/N) Marsh** and **Kenny McCormick**!

**(Y/N) Marsh**: do i get any say in this?

**Wendy Testaburger**: I already told you **(Y/N) Marsh**, stop interrupting us while we decide your future!  
><strong><em>~Bebe Stevens<em>**_and __**Heidi Turner**__ like this comment_

**Red Tucker**: I don't know what you guys are talking about **(Y/N) Marsh** would not be cute with anybody! **Kyle Brovfloski **and **Stan Marsh** would be cute though ;)

**Kyle Brovfloski**: I thoroughly disagree **Red Tucker**  
><em><strong>Stan Marsh<strong>__ likes this comment_

**XXX**

**Wendy Testaburger:** As your school president I would like to remind everyone that the winter themed school dance is coming up! We have a surprise cameo appearance by**Mr. Hankey** so make sure to attend! [admission $5]  
><em><strong>~Heidi Tuner, Bebe Stevens, Red Tucke<strong>__r, and 27 others like this comment_

**(Y/N) Marsh**: who's.**Mr. Hankey**?

**Kyle Brovfloski**: ONLY THE GREATEST PIECE OF CRAP TO EVER LIVE

**Eric Cartman**: He's **Kyle Brovfloski**'s boyfriend #gay #fag

**Kyle Brovfloski**: Shove a pole up your ass

**Mr. Hankey**: HOOOOWDY HO !  
><em><strong>Kyle Brovfloski<strong>__ and 191827328 others like this comment_

**XXX**

**(Y/N) Mars**h is Ice skating with **Craig Tucker **at Starks Pond  
><em><em>_**~Craig Tucker**__ likes this_

**Clyde Donovan**: Y'all would be the worst couple ever.

**Craig Tucker**: are you jealous ? **Clyde Donovan **

**Clyde Donovan**: You don't have to be jealous to see that you guys would be an ugly couple.

**Tweek Tweak**: but cr-craIG you saidDd you would ComeE Over - GAH - tO myy house today-y?

**Craig Tucker**: Mr. Mackey is going to send you guys to jelly school if you keep acting up  
>~<em><strong>(YN) Marsh**__ likes this comment_

**XXX**

**(Y/N) Marsh** wants to know why **Butters Stotch** is in her backyard

**Butters Stotch**: Well hi there (Y/N)! I can see you threw the window!

**(Y/N) Marsh**: why the fuck are you in my back yard?

**Butters Stotch**: Cartman told me that there is a Jew virus going around and I have to inject every Jew in town with a poison shot so the virus doesn't expand globally  
><em><strong>~Eric Cartman<strong>__ and __**Adolf Hitler **__like this comment_

**(Y/N) Marsh**: okay, lovely story. why are you in MY backyard?

**Butters Stotch**: well Cartman told me that you were secretly the Jew queen and I have to kill you before I kill the Jew king

**(Y/N) Marsh**: and all that made sense to you?

**Butters Stotch**: that's not the whole story, I have to kill you before Christmas or else **Santa** will catch the Jew virus!

**(Y/N) Marsh**: wow okay. Who's the Jew king?

**Butters Stotch**: Duh, it's **Kyle Brovfloski**.

**Kyle Brovfloski**: Out of all the nescient and prejudice things you've expressed and put down on to others, Cartman I swear this is one of the worst! How is anybody going to believe you? Your just a fucking lonely individual and will always be woeful and pitiable. Your undeniably worth less then the ruble on the bottom of my shoe.  
>~<em><strong>The Jews, (YN) Marsh**__, and 58 others like this comment _

**XXX**

_**(Y/N) Marsh**__ thinks her Jew king should start spreading the virus faster _

**Kyle Brovfloski**: **(Y/N) Marsh** this isn't a joke! Cartman was being a fat lard of ignorancey.

**(Y/N) Marsh**: But Keyl! We have to spread the Jew virus so everybody can get it and die!

**Kyle Brovfloski**: oh god you even sound like him. I'm not playing along with this.

**(Y/N) Marsh**: fine! I'll just get a new king!

_**(Y/N) Marsh**__ is now married to __**Craig Tucker**_

**Craig Tucker**: I'm all for this but when did we get married?

**(Y/N) Marsh**: shhh. Just go with it.

**Clyde Donovan**: WTF**Craig Tucker** I can't believe you would do this to me

**Kenny McCormick**: if you ever get tired of Craig you know where to come ;)

**Stan Marsh**: NO ONE ELSE IS THIS PERVY **Kenny McCormick**

**Kenny McCormick**: what can I say? I'm one in a million.

**Bebe Stevens**: I support this relationship

**Wendy Testaburger: (Y/N) Marsh** What about Kyle!?

**Heidi Turner**: Or Kenny?!

**(Y/N) Marsh**: I would love to stay and chat but i have to go ... Curl my pigs hair for his pumpkin eating contest  
><em><strong>~(YN) Marsh's fake pig**__ likes this comment _

**XXX**

**Douchebag** is finally back in South Park after about a year  
><em><em>_**~Stan Marsh, Bebe Stevens**__, and 82928 others like this _

**Bebe Stevens**: I sense a new ship coming on...

**Wendy Testaburger**: you guys thinking what I'm thinking right?

**Red Tucker**: YES **Douchebag X Mr. Hankey**

**Mr. Hankey**: HOOOOWDEY NO

**Heidi Turner**: leave **Red Tucker**  
><em><strong>Wendy Testaburger, <strong>__, and 2 others like this comment_

**Heidi Turner**: **(Y/N) Marsh** and **Douchebag** would be the cutest couple ever!  
><em><em>_**~All The Fourth Grade Girls**__ like this comment_

**Kenny McCormick**: Wht happened to the rest of our ships?  
><em><strong>~Kyle Brovfloski, Craig Tucker<strong>__, and 3 others like this_

**Wendy Testabuger**: sorry guys, the girls all agree the **Douchebag** and (Y/N) would be the cutest couple

**(Y/N) Marsh**: Whose **Douchebag**?

**Douchebag**: whose **(Y/N) Marsh**

**(Y/N) Marsh:** I'm me

**Douchebag**: then I'm me

**Stan Marsh: (Y/N) Marsh**, **Douchebag** moved her last year and helped us with that game I was telling you about, in a short he was recruited by the C.I.A for help. And was gone for about a year until now. And **Douchebag**, **(Y/N) Marsh** is my cousin who is really popular on Facebook for some reason, and everyone either ships her with someone else, wants to date her, or is just pervy with her.

**Douchebag**: oh well good to know.

**(Y/N) Marsh**: hey, **Douchebag**, are you going with anyone to the dance on Saturday

**Stan Marsh:** DONT DO IT **(Y/N) Marsh** YOULL UNLEASH HELL

**Douchebag**: umm no why?

**(Y/N) Marsh**: would you like to go with me?

**Stan Marsh**: Do you want people to die?**(Y/N) Marsh**

**Douchebag**: umm yah, sure

**XXX**

_**Hell**__ has been unleashed on Facebook _

**XXX**

**Me: **I hope you liked Pt. 2 ! Hell has officially been unleashed on Facebook so stay tuned for Pt. 3! Until then don't forget to get a picture with **Mr. Hankey**

**Brian Boitano**: and there will be a guest appearance by me!

**Me**: Shhhhh!

**XXX**


	5. Chp 5 Christmas On FaceBook (Pt 3)

**A/N**: Hey guys! I just wanted to let you know that there may not be another update soon, probably will take about a week or two at most. This is bc 1. My co-author seems to be ignoring me, and didn't even start on the chapter she was supposed to do. Much less re-plying to any of my messages. 2. School. I wake up at 5:40 am for school, I get home at 4:00 pm (On a good day), Homework takes me anywhere from 30 min too 2 1/2 hours, my family eats dinner at 5:00 pm, and I have to take a shower at 7:00. Do you see my dilemma now? (I'm actually writing this at 5:00 am and will post when I get to school. So anyways I love all the support I get from you guys and please be patient with me. Thanks XOXO

**XXX**

**Wendy Testaburger**: I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD **Eric Cartman** IM GOING TO KILL YOU

**Eric Cartman**: I'm sorry I don't know what you are talking about Wendy

**Wendy Testaburger**: YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT FATASS

**Eric Cartman**: could you be more specific

**Wendy Testaburger**: YOURE SELLING FORGED TICKETS TO THE DANCE

**Eric Cartman**: aww fuck. who told the bitch! was it you **Butters Stotch**?

**Butters Stotch**: aww I'm sorry Cartman, she said she would tell my parents and I can't get grounded! It's almost christmas.

**Eric Cartman**: You will fucking pay for this butters

**XXX**

_**(Y/N) Marsh**__ has added 1 new picture to her photo album_

**(Y/N) Marsh:** I'm usually not one to dress up, but I have to say **Bebe Stevens **& **Wendy Testaburger** picked out the best dress for me 3  
><em><strong>Wendy Testaburger, Heidi Turner<strong>__, and 49 others like this comment_

**Heidi Turner**: #iminlove

**Wendy Testaburger**: I didn't think we could find anything that looked good on you! Took countless hours, but definitely worth it!  
><em><strong>Bebe Stevens<strong>__ likes this comment_

**(Y/N) Marsh:** wow thanks **Wendy Testaburger. **

**XXX**

**Craig Tucker:** fuck you **Douchebag**  
><strong>~Clyde Donovan, Kenny McCormick<strong>, and 5 others like this

**Douchebag:** What did I do to you? **Craig Tucker**

**Clyde Donovan**: You know exactly what you did!

**Douchebag**: if I knew what I did then why would I be asking?

**Tweek Tweak**: Gguys, I r-REeally donT think- GAH- he knows

**Douchebag**: KNOW WHAT?

**Kenny McCormick**: WE WANT TO GET LAID BY FUCKING (Y/N) BUT NOW SHES ALL UP IN YOUR PANTS

**Kyle Brovfloski**: wtf? **Kenny McCormick**

**Clyde Donovan**: (Y/N) just asked you to go to piss us all off. Now we are all dateless to the dance

**Kyle Brovfloski**: What are you talking about **Clyde Donovan**? We all have dates. I'm going with Bebe, is going with Lola and Kenny is going with Heidi.  
><em><strong>~Craig Tucker, Heidi Turne<strong>__r, and 17 others like this comment_

**Craig Tucker:** Jealous? **Clyde Donovan**

**Clyde Donovan:** I AM NOT JEALOUS GOD DAMN-IT

**(Y/N) Marsh**: Stop giving **Douchebag** shit guys, it's my fault

**Douchebag**: So it's true then, you only asked me too make them mad?

**(Y/N) Marsh**: well...like half true.

**Douchebag**: I'm sorry (Y/N), but i don't think I can go with you.

**Cupid Cartman**: BUT WHATTT YOU GUYS WERE PERFECT, THIS IS ALL **Kyle Brovfloski**'s FAULT! IF HE WOULD HAVE JUST GONE TO THE DAMN JEW CAMP CHRISTMAS WOULDN'T BE RUINED

**XXX**

**(Y/N) Marsh**: **Wendy Testaburger**, when's a good time to give you the dress back? I don't think I will be needing it.

**Wendy Testaburger**: Umm, I'm a little busy trying to find Cartmans secret lair where he is making the tickets right now, just give it to **Bebe Stevens**

**Bebe Stevens**: What happened to you and Douchebag?

**(Y/N) Marsh**: I'd rather not talk about it. **Bebe Stevens**

**Bebe Stevens**: What? Do you have a fucking problem with me **(Y/N) Marsh**?

**(Y/N) Marsh**: Hmm?, no. It's just personal.

**Heidi Turner**: Wow i didn't know you could be such a bitch (Y/N)  
><em><strong>Bebe Stevens, Red Tucker,<strong>__ and 3 others like this comment_

**Red Tucker**: yah, you can forget sitting with us at school tmr bitch

**XXX**

**Wendy Testaburger**: MWHAHA I FOUND YOUR DUMB ASS TICKET FORGING MACHINE FATTY I WIN **Eric Cartman**

**Eric Cartman**: GOD DAMNIT WENDY YOUR DESTROYING THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT! WHO FUCKING TOLD YOU WHERE IT WAS

**Wendy Testaburger**: who do you think?

**Eric Cartman**: BUTTERS YOU STUPID JEW

**XXX**

**Private Message Center:**

**Stan Marsh**: Are you okay, **(Y/N) Marsh**?

**(Y/N) Marsh**: Just fucking peachy. Idk how would you feel if everybody hated your guts?

**Stan Marsh**: Nobody hates you (y/n)

**(Y/N) Marsh**: all the fourth grade girls do. And so does, Kenny, Craig, Clyde, Kyle and Douchebag.

**Stan Marsh**: they'll get over it. your coming to the dance right?

**(Y/N) Marsh**: oh yeah that's tonight. I don't know if I want to.

**Stan Marsh**: you could come with me and Wendy if you want!. She's not mad at you.

**(Y/N) Marsh**: mmm, I'm still not sure.

**Stan Marsh**: look, I've lived in this town long enough to know you can't escape shit like this by staying at home or telling a adult or whatever shit they say to do in those bullying videos. No, you just have to show up and show them you don't give a fuck what they think about you!

**(Y/N) Marsh**: y'know what? your right, thanks Stan. I'll show them how much I really don't care about them. ;)

**Stan Marsh:** oh no (y/n) that's not what I meant.

**(Y/N) Marsh**: see you at 8 cuz ;)

**Stan Marsh**: what the fuck have I done

**XXX**

_**Wendy Testaburger**__ has added 5 new pictures to her photo album_

_**Wendy Testaburger**__ has tagged __**(Y/N) Marsh**__ and __**Stan Marsh**__ in this album_

**Wendy Testaburger**: Dance tonight with my favorite Marsh's 3  
><em><strong>~(YN) Marsh**__ and __**Stan Marsh**__ like this comment _

**Bebe Stevens**: I should be mad at her for being a bitch but I just can't when she looks that gorgeous  
><em><strong>~Heidi Turner, Red Tucker<strong>__, and 6 others like this comment _

**(Y/N) Marsh**: oh you'll be mad at me after tonight

**Bebe Stevens**: What?**(Y/N) Marsh**

**(Y/N) Marsh**: oh nothing **Bebe Stevens**

**Kenny McCormick**: THAT ASS THO

**XXX**

**Private Message Center:**

**Stan Marsh**: **Mr. Hankey **I have a problem

**Mr. Hankey**: HOOOWWDEY HO Stan, what can I help you with

**Stan Marsh**: I found out (Y/N)'s plan for tonight

**Mr. Hankey**: And?

**Stan Marsh**: she's going to dump pig blood on them. everyone.

**Mr. Hankey**: Well that's not very Christmasy at all. Did she watch the movie Carrie

**Stan Marsh**: Yup

**Mr. Hankey**: well that's her first problem. Anyways if I have an idea, I just need some time

**Stan Marsh**: but your supposed to take pictures with the kids at the dance?

**Mr. Hankey**: don't worry about that, I have a friend who can fill in for me. ;)

**XXX**

_**Eric Cartman**__ has added a 1 new picture to his photo album _

_**Eric Cartman**__ has tagged __**Brian Boitano**__ is this album_

**Eric Cartman**: Kickass dude, like Brian way more then that piece of shit **Mr. Hankey**

**Kyle Brovfloski**: idk dude, **Mr. Hankey** is pretty fucking sweet

**XXX**

**(Y/N) Marsh**: Hurry up **Kevin Stoley**; they need to all be on Facebook to see my special announcement

**Kevin Stoley**: it's not exactly easy to reprogram the whole fourth grades phone to go off at one time and the redirect them to Facebook

**(Y/N) Marsh**: I'll buy you the vintage fake ears Spock used in the first movie of Star Track if you finish in the next two minutes

**Kevin Stoley**: it's Star TREK.

**(Y/N) Marsh**: tick - tok Stoley

**Kevin Stoley**: Finished!

**XXX**

**Clyde Donovan**: why did my phone send me here?  
>~<em><strong>Douchebag, Butters Stotch<strong>__, and 26 others like this comment_

**Kyle Brovfloski**: yah mine did the same

**Bebe Stevens**: it won't let me exit it out !

**Craig Tucker**: this really isn't fucking funny whoever did this.

**(Y/N) Marsh**: I hope y'all's clothes are stain proof, or should I say blood proof. Release the buckets Kevin!

**Red Tucker**: Umm, I hate to break it to you (Y/N) but Christmas colored glitter doesn't stain clothing  
><em><strong>~Bebe Stevens, Tweek Tweak<strong>__, and 78 others like this comment _

**Stan Marsh**: Thanks **Mr. Hankey**

**Mr. Hankey**: My pleasure Stan ;) see you next year

**(Y/N) Marsh**: but...what happened to my pig blood!? Kevin I swear to fucking god you can't do anything right! No Spock ears for you.

**Eric Cartman:** speaking out of experience, never let fucking Stoley do any shit for you, make Butters do it.

**(Y/N) Marsh**: well shit! I can't do anything fucking right. Not even revenge.

**Clyde Donovan**: I'm gonna go ahead and speak out for the majority here and say that we're sorry we were bitchy to you, just please, don't try dump pig blood on our heads again** (Y/N) Marsh**  
>~<em><strong>Stan Marsh, Heidi Turner<strong>__, and 7282639 others like this comment_

**Kyle Brovfloski**: y'know what? I've learned something today... We can't always assume what's going to happen in the future, whether you think you'll be able to forge tickets to make money without being caught, or, think you can ask somebody something out of spitefulness for someone else, or even think that getting overly mad at someone will make them disappear from your life forever. At the end of the day we all have to learn that assuming makes an ass out of all of us.

**Kyle Brovfloski**: Oh yea and never fucking trust **Kevin Stoley** with doing your shit cause he will always fuck it up  
><em><strong>Eric Cartman, (YN) Marsh**__, and 729923 others like this comment_

**XXX**

**Me**: I hope you enjoyed the last part to our Christmas On Facebook seasonal story! Even though it took seemingly forever to write it was so much fun and I can't wait to make the New Years one [hint, hint ;)] Hope you guys have an AMAZING (Christmas/Hanukkah/whatever you believe in)! Oh yeah, and I just now realized that I have been putting (y/n) marsh instead of (y/f/n) marsh on these last two stories and I'm sorry for that, don't worry that won't be the case for any upcoming stories. 3 luh you byeee.


End file.
